I have always been described as an overthinker. And I don’t like that adjective. It was my “trigger” word as it made me feel ostracized and misunderstood. As a counter-productive measure, those words “stop overthinking” made my mind work harder to “think”, accentuating the turns of my mental cogwheels.
With the uncertainty of the ongoing Covid-19 situation still looming over my head, those overwhelming thoughts, brain fog, and poor decision-making are slowly creeping back again.
I am fortunate that I live just 3 minutes by foot to a small beach, where I can just sit by the sand or a…
“I am done, Yan… It’s over. I am sorry. Things never looked good and sometimes, things just fall apart.”
These words were the last words I heard from him just 10 days into his new job. My relationship with him ended abruptly, leaving me hanging with no room for discussion whatsoever.
The man whom I initially hesitated to say yes to commit to a future, the same person who believed that I was his “soul mate,” decided one day that it is all over between us. “Did I see that coming? Did I do something wrong? What happened?” …
I started bodybuilding at age of 19 with the “boys”. I trained body-parts, as if the human body moves like a machine, pushing myself beyond my pain, numbing myself to what my body was telling me.
All I wanted was to build a lean, “mean”, “sexy”, flexible machine capable of moving any way my heart desires.
Bodybuilding-style training became my primary goal to carve a lean-and-mean body. And the good ol’ stretching became the companion to bodybuilding in the hope for me to attain the “flexible” body I had my eyes set on.
I didn’t care about the consequences of…
As writers, we all fear facing that Great Wall of China — the writer’s block. It could be a mysterious case of creative burnout, an inability to focus, or a struggle to write a coherent flow. We start to enter a vicious loop of trying too hard to churn out articles, perhaps taking multiple pauses by scrolling endlessly on our social feeds, silently praying to Thoth (the Greek-Egyptian god of writing), hoping that he will grant you that miracle of the coveted writing flow back. But the more you try, the less your words flow! …
Authenticity and integrity have always been two of my major personal values I live by. I don’t know when I discovered this, perhaps from growing up in a large extended 3-generational family — where I am immersed in multi-relationships between siblings, married couples, aunts/uncles-nieces/nephews, and parent-child, made an influence on me.
The things people say in front of each other and also behind each other awakened me further to the world of relationships and communication dynamics as I wondered, “why would the adults behave the way they do?”.
Fast forward to being an adult I am now, living in our…
For the longest time, I struggled with the crippling fear of speaking to people in authority over me. Even as an adult in her 30s, this fear of speaking to superiors would paralyze me with anxiety.
I suppose it was a fear that stemmed from my childhood; I grew up as the only girl in a family that had really strong opinions about everything. Unlike me, my loved ones have a way with words — and they’re loud too — which made me feel like I couldn’t really speak up and voice my opinions.
It’s not that they weren’t reasonable…
For that one moment -
To love; to be loved
To live; to die.
One life, many waits,
Many reasons, many times.
In the end — it’s all the same.
Waiting to end it with a bang,
and in a good way we desire.
Author’s notes: This was privately written 14 years ago, when she was a mere 23-year-old girl during the time of her cancer days.
Late one night in the hospital unable to sleep, surrounded by other blood cancer warriors who were more than…
I am an integrative health coach and I know the importance of good sleep, and heck, even “should” practice a good sleep routine, but all the attempts of adopting the usual good pre-sleep habits, that we have repeatedly read in various articles or being nagged at by doctors, such as cutting off-screen time and blue light 1–3 hours before bed which means no TV or Netflix, reading a nice book before bed, doing a nice relaxing yoga routine, removing all tech devices in bedroom or turning off the Wi-Fi router at home (THIS IS NOT PRACTICAL FOR ME SINCE I…
We all have heard the saying “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”, while there is some element of truth in it, we also need to be wary not to fall into that trap of analysis-paralysis when it comes to planning. All the best-laid plans are futile if there lies no consistency and commitment to action-taking. Having worked with tens of clients from all walks of life with their health and fitness goals, I have personally learned not to rush into formulating a plan, lest the plan backfires.
Instead, I would pause and spend time getting clarity out…
I arrived home on 10th January 2020, after a 7-week trans-American solo travel from the Eastside to the Westside. Unbeknownst to me from that day on, it will not only change my life but also that of the world. The very next day on 11th January marked the first known death case of Covid-19 in Wuhan, China.
The trip was meant to be a sabbatical for me as I was feeling burnt out in my working life and resigned from my previous job. I traveled minimalist-style, mostly couch surfing at my friends’ places, fully enjoying my “mental holiday” by soaking…